Stuck in Self-Sabotage?
Too tired to take a shower? Don’t feel like getting dressed? Running too late to have breakfast? Don’t want to take a walk?
These excuses all make sense, and they serve as justification not to do things that have the potential to make us feel better. Skipping these kinds of activities is an act of unconscious self-sabotage. Not partaking in things that you know have the potential to make you feel better about yourself is you making a choice that you prefer to stay in a state of sadness and discontent.
About six months ago, I started to see a trend in my weekends. Each weekend I would start feeling sick. Being that I am a recovering hypochondriac, I always suspected the sickness wasn’t a real sickness, but knowing that didn’t make it any less detrimental. I usually spent one day of the weekend getting caught up on house-work and laundry, and the second day was used as a day to indulge in endless TV watching and relaxing. I would often stay up much later than I did on the weekdays simply because I could. I figured that was what the weekend was for. You are supposed to get caught up on errands that fall through the cracks during a hectic week, and take the leftover time in those two days to rejuvenate yourself for the upcoming week.
I noticed I was not rejuvenating. In actuality, my weekends had become more difficult to manage than my weekdays. I was finding more joy in my regular work week than I was in my “me” time. My weekends were spent feeling relatively melancholy and sick. I couldn’t quite understand why that was happening. What I did understand was that this is not how I wanted my weekends to be, and I had to come up with a solution to make them better. I took a look at my schedule during the weekdays to see if I could pick out what the major difference was, besides going to work. It wasn’t too hard to spot. I showered every weekday, but I didn’t shower on weekends. I had chosen not to shower on weekends because those were my days for relaxation. I usually didn’t need to shower because I wasn’t going anywhere. This was my act of unconscious self-sabotage. I thought I was rewarding myself by allowing myself more time for relaxation, and I was absolutely, positively wrong.
I began taking showers on weekends and everything changed. I was more energized to do things. I would do my daily chores, and then I might tackle a cabinet or a closet that had been driving me crazy because it was so disorganized. I found myself calling people to schedule outings to go for a hike or grab a bite. I would often go for long walks with my dog if the weather was nice. I usually reserved the evening for a movie or a few episodes of a TV show, but I did not partake in any TV watching during the day. I would close out my day by going to bed very close to the time I would go to sleep during the weekdays.
With the addition of a shower, my weekends became the experience that I needed to get from them. While not taking a shower and binging on TV all day may be relaxing to some, it wasn’t relaxing to me. Many people may look at the way I spend my weekends and think that I don’t spend a lot of time rejuvenating. Those people would be mistaken. What is rejuvenating to one person may sound exhausting to another. What is good for some may not be good for you. Regardless of what you think something should look like, it’s important recognize that in order to make it work you, it may need to look different. It doesn’t matter if it’s different, it only matters that it works.
My point is this. My shower takes roughly 15 minutes. With that one simple act, I was able to change the entire trajectory of my day. Recognizing the things you need to do for yourself to keep you in a positive space is very important. Once you know what those things are, do them each and every day so that you have done everything you can do to set yourself up for success. With a 15-minute activity, I was able to give myself 900 minutes of potential enjoyment because I had set myself up for success. By skipping that 15-minute activity, I was basically ensuring 915 minutes spent in a subpar weekend day.
Skipping the things you know you should do for yourself is like playing with fire. Give yourself a chance to experience the best day you possibly can by choosing to take care of yourself. What’s the harm in giving it a try? If you do any of the activities I mentioned, and it doesn’t work, all it will cost you is 15-minutes of your subpar day. Those are odds I would take any day — you can’t lose.
Originally published at https://mastermindpersonalcoaching.com on February 16, 2021.
