Why You Should Be Focusing on You
It’s a common theme in people’s lives — I will get to working on me later. Right now, my kids, coworkers, spouse, etc. need me to step up to help them with problems they are having. I need to help them (or maybe you think change them) before I can help me.
This strategy is actually quite counterintuitive. Have you ever heard the saying you attract the energy you put out there? It’s a very true statement. If you are struggling in your life, feeling down and out about something going on with you, how successful do you think you will be in helping your child not feel that way? Or you want your spouse to respect you and listen to you more, yet you are showing up as a beat down, broken, angry individual — do you think your spouse is getting the message that you are someone to be respected? You can insert any individual you are trying to help with a problem or hoping to cause a change in behavior with into this scenario. If you are engaging them as an individual who is engulfed in their own personal problems, people can perceive that, and they respond accordingly.
We have learned in society that spending time focused on ourselves is selfish. I believe that this message is completely untrue. There is a big difference between being selfish and taking care of ourselves. A well-functioning, fulfilled, happy version of ourselves is the best way to show up for others in our lives that we care about. Focusing on ourselves does not mean we can’t still try to assist the people in our lives we care about either. We can still interact and work with them while we work on ourselves. You will find the more you work on yourself, the better those interactions become. If you want someone in your life to change a behavior and you happen to be demonstrating that same behavior, become the change you want to see in them. That is the best way to influence someone in your life — lead by example.
People respond differently to someone who is happy, positive, and confident. They are more apt to listen to you, take your advice, or engage in a positive manner with you. In turn, if you are happy, positive, and confident, your behavior is also different than the behavior you demonstrate when you are unsatisfied with something about yourself or your life. Your personal work is a win-win for everyone in your life. When you arrive at your happy place, it spreads an infectious type of energy to those surrounding you, and you find that you get what you have been after all along. Success and happiness attract success and happiness.
Why not start today, and change your focus to you? It’s the best thing you can do for all the people in your life that you care so deeply about. If you truly want to help them, start by helping you.
